Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Dr. Suess Would Never Have Thought Growing Up This Hard

When I was a child one of my favourite books was Fox in Sox by Dr. Suess.  I read it over and over, and eventually did not need the book to recite it at will.  I loved the twist of words, the rhythmic flow, and while this book had less message than some of his other works, like The Lorax which I also loved, and Green Eggs and Ham or Cat in the Hat which did not interest me as much, what it had was a think-outside-the-crazy-striped-box way with the use of words. 

I recently signed up for Sarah Selecky's daily writing prompts.  WCDR's partnership with Sarah for the Short Story contest was the original motivation, but I have since come to anticipate her daily message with relish.  Not the least of which because my writing group partner, Cryssa Bazos, is always challenging me to see the prompts in a new way.  So, when Sarah suggested we write in the style of another writer she named, we decided to turn that on its ear. 

So the ode to Dr. Suess poem I wrote, which you see below, is all Sarah and Cryssa's fault.  Not really.  But it is a lot of fun- if you can get past the ugliness of the Rob Ford non-mayoral conduct.  Remember that my favourite book is Fox in Sox, and you will get the cadence.  My apologies to my childhood hero!

Dr. Suess on Crack  By S.A. Moore

If a dopey thinking ruler
Smokes a pipe that dents his noodle
With a friend he thinks is cooler
And a girl he hopes will screw ya
If his wife is holding dinner
Do you think he is a winner?
Can he make the city spinner
While he plays the sloppy grinner 


 If he gets himself much fatter
Blames drinking for Mad Hatter
Swears at Council til they shatter
Do you think that that is badder?

If he sends around his brother
For the media to smother
Swears he'll never eat another
Do you think he's worth the bother? 

If the car and football magnates
Send reminders he should stagnate
Restrain all his blah-blagnate
Will the pundits still be-drag it? 


If Santa doesn't want him
And the schools think he is wanting
And the crudle-eating ruler
With the camera slamming noodle
Jumps the psydo prosti girdle
Will this mess man still be mayor? 

If we ever get the facts
Do you think the fuck comes back?
Will his lies begin to stack
As he goes upon attack? 

Now do you think he'll crack?


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